stage one task two

i think i know the real problem.  it's that without this program, i have nothing.  and i practically feel like nothing.  without some education or letters behind my name, i will have nothing.  i can never have success.  this stupid disability holds me back so much that without education i am useless to everyone.  i want to have kids and be a stay at home mom, but i want to make money and contribute to my house and my family and invest in the future before i stay home with my kids.  i see nothing wrong with being at home with my kids and not working, but i need to work before that because my husband will deserve my contribution and i want to make things happen for myself - trips and gifts and decorating and renovations, i want to make those happen myself, i want to be able to support myself.  physically, i am incapable.  thus, all i have is my mind, my ability to try to learn as much as i can.  if i give up on this program, i am giving up on any chance i have.  that is the fear.  that is the problem.  without this program, i will have nothing to my name.