Tuesday.

Noises, I play within my head
Touch my own skin and hope that I'm still breathing
And I think back to when my brother and my sister slept
In an unlocked place, the only time I feel safe

i bought my very first bookshelf and i'm pretty fricken in love with it; it's just a piece of junk, the pieces aren't even cut evenly and some parts aren't painted either.  but it's okay - it has character, and i'll just colour in the unpainted pieces with permanent marker... let's be honest. 

i need to get my shit together, more, and find a job... any job at this point.  i have applied for many, with no luck, so i've gotta start looking again.  i feel sad that even having an education hasn't helped me to get a job any easier than without an education, but maybe i just need to give myself more time.

i went out yesterday and really just splurged on myself.  well, not really on myself at all to be honest... on my home.  i bought new things for the bathroom to make it look a bit more vamped up, and some nice smelling soap and whatnot.  i bought myself some rings and earrings which i love, so that was nice, but i really just love my bookshelf - i've wanted one for a long time.  i think my mom would like what i have done with it.

i am going to see my dad again today.  i love being home so that i can see my dad.  we are going to unpack some of my stuff from the house that is in storage, and then clint and i will have to find a place for it.  it should be fun but also a lot of work. that's okay though.

i am suddenly feeling overwhelmed as shit, what with practicum still being up in the air, me having no job yet, still needing to improve my health, and having a grumbly stomach... i need to remember to keep myself in the moment rather than worrying myself over things that are in the future; things that are out of my control during this moment. breathe...