“And then some guy wandering as lost as you would all of a sudden be right before your eyes, his face bigger and clearer than you ever saw a man’s face before in your life. Your eyes were working so hard to see in that fog that when something did come in sight every detail was ten times as clear as usual, so clear both of you had to look away. When a man showed up you didn’t want to look at his face and he didn’t want to look at yours, because it’s painful to see somebody so clear that it’s like looking inside him, but then neither did you want to look away and lose him completely. You had a choice: you could either strain and look at things that appeared in front of you in the fog, painful as it might be, or you could relax and lose yourself.”

 

"the man i marry is the one who comforts me the most

when my mother dies"

i thought a lot about mom last night.  i thought about when i went to Artstrek and she dropped me off and i cried and cried because i didn't want her to leave... i used to get such bad homesickness.  i also thought about when i was having a sleepover at my aunti's two hours away, and i got so homesick that mom drove 2 hours to sleep in the same house as me.  i always loved hanging out with my mom, even after the bad and mean things she would do.  i wonder what she would say about my life now, and i wonder what she feels about my Clint.  it probably wouldn't matter i guess, but i wish i knew if she likes him.  he would like her. 

if she was still around, i don't know that i would have ever left.